April 3rd!!!

It has finally come!!! Yesterday we received our travel date! This is the day I have waited for so anxiously. We are so very ready to take this trip! I cannot wait to meet my precious boys and bring them home forever. We should meet them on the 4th or 5th of April. That friends is all.

Blah!

Last week we should have had our travel dates, but due to the turnover in Ukraine things have been delayed. I am hoping to hear something this week.
So what is the hardest part about adoption? For me, it has been the waiting! I just don't see the point in all this waiting! I want to see my boys, bring them home and move on with our lives. I want to begin their healing and our adjusting. I want God to bend space and time and be sitting with them on the couch safe and sound watching a movie and snuggling! *sigh. None of these things will happen though. I am reminded time and again to be patient, to enjoy the work the Lord is doing in my life today and thank Him for it. I don't FEEL like doing any of that though. I FEEL like flying to Ukraine and grabbing my boys (and a few extra) and high tailing it back to Florida! That is what I FEEL like doing! That wont be happening either! So I am trying to immerse myself in the everyday chores and tasks. Staying focused on work, projects, and spending time with baby Gage. I know my husband is trying to keep his mind busy too. He began reading, had our septic pumped, fixed the sprinkler system, and other random things. We have already began packing our suitcases, and have bought all of the necessary travel items. It is just a terribly boring, anxious, waiting period. BLAH!!!

                                                               Our NEW Normal! :)

Finding the words........

It is 1:18am. I woke up long enough to give Baby Gage a bottle, and checked my phone. 1 notification from Kara. The hostess of the benefit dinner held last night to benefit 5 orphans. Kara's second annual "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" Benefit Dinner. The text said "we are not sure of the final numbers, but we had a special auction just for Edgars Birthday and it alone raised $3k!" WOW! Do you hear that Edgar?? Someone in this world thinks you are worth all of that and so much more! Go tell those Nanny's! I quickly showed Marty the message and the two of us lay excitedly whispering in bed (careful not to wake baby Gage). We are still in a daze that God has taken us on this journey. We are in awe at how he uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. That strangers have blessed us beyond reason! None of this makes sense! It doesn't seem possible, and yet God uses you and me to accomplish the impossible!

I am learning what it means to "step out in faith". So often I hear others say "when I win the lottery...". Having faith means doing something WITHOUT knowing how, where, why, without any understanding! Scary right!? YES! Irresponsible? Not if you trust in Christ! There is no safer place to be then the arms of Christ! It is also liberating, exciting, rewarding, renewing, and brings you closer to God then you could EVER imagine! At the beginning of this journey I worried over every little obstacle and planned tediously over the details. I was a scared kitten. Now.... the chaos in Ukraine doesn't scare me a bit. I  am saddened for the people of Ukraine, and pray for Gods peace. However, I am not afraid. Not afraid of what will happen while I am there, or when I get home. I am not afraid of caring for the boys or of their future. I am not afraid that we will not find the money or be able to provide for them. I have seen Gods miraculous healing, perfect timing, amazing grace, and power. I do not fear that this incredible God cannot get me through the hard times that are sure to come. I KNOW He will!

So, how do I find the words to thank those that have listened to the voices of the forgotten? How do I thank you for ransoming my children??? How!? How would you thank someone that saved your child from certain death? Would you fall to your knees and thank them? I am on my knees. Would you pray for protection over their family? I will pray for you! Would you ask God to see their good deed and bless them ten fold! Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you friends, family, strangers. Thank you Tillery Family. Thank You sponsors and guests of the "Somewhere Over the Rainbow Benefit Dinner!"
Thank you Reece's Rainbow, our Social Worker Susan, our Facilitator, USCIS guy, Lindy House, Adoption Families, Thank you ALL! and most of all Thank you Almighty God for choosing to forgive our sins and bring us on this incredible journey of redemption!


                                       We ARE coming Edgar! We ARE coming Dunham!                 

Loving the Littles on Valentines Day

These past few weeks of waiting were supposed to be a time of respite! lol! It wasn't. The path became steep, God held my hand through it. However, I am more eager than ever to get these boys home as soon as possible.

Our latest fundraiser for the boys is this Valentines Day...

 

DONATE HERE

Now WHAT???

So the mad paper rush is over, my dossier is safely in the arms of my Facilitator.... so now what??? I still have plenty to do I suppose.... Work, Baby Gage, Fundraising..... It seems odd not to be in constant stress mode and rushing to get things done for our Dossier. I suppose I could pull myself together! I have completely fallen apart in the appearance category, lol! Someone forgot to tell me I would begin to see things like nail polish, tweezing and getting my hair done as unnecessary and time consuming during adoption. Once my Dossier was mailed it was as if the fog cleared and the mirror revealed one scary, tired, un-kept mama! So maybe this weekend I will take care of me? I will never return to the appearance obsessed life I had before Christ opened my eyes to things that matter. However, I do think I will tweeze these eyebrows before I frighten the baby! :)  ...............and then? I think maybe I will just take a moment to catch my breath and enjoy my beautiful baby boy.

WOO HOO!!!!!

We received our APPROVAL LETTER in the mail today!!!! (:  and celebrated with some serious high fiving and a glass of Merlot! The USCIS approval was a stress trigger for me, I have no idea why!? Many people have said the fundraising is the most stressful, I guess being in marketing I actually find that fun! Tomorrow we drive our dossier to Tallahassee Florida and have everything apostle'd and sent to our Facilitator in Ukraine. This will be another stressful time for me .... waiting to be sure everything arrives safely in her hands! Praying our Heavenly Father delivers it safely....

More waiting!

We are still waiting for the actual approval letter!!! Argh! This process is not for the impatient! My dossier is complete and we are simply waiting on the VERY LAST, but most important Approval Letter!!! I WILL have it before the end of the week and then it will be driven to Tallahassee to be apostlized. It will be mailed to Ukraine that same day and then................... we wait!!! lol!

When you know better .... you do better!

Not often but there have been times over the past few weeks I have found myself annoyed, irritated, ok even angry at the lack of support by some family and friends. I've also been frustrated by some of the senseless, thoughtless comments that strangers have made on other blogs, pages, or news reports towards international adoption. I was frustrated that people didn't "GET" it! How can anyone not understand that ALL children deserve a loving home? I was irritated to see Millions raised for "Save the Whales" or "Breast Cancer Awareness".  Why? why did this bother me? I LOVE Whales! and I have friends that have survived breast cancer!!! How could I feel this way!?  I have supported many charities over the years! Alzheimer's Awareness, The Homeless, Toys for Tots and many many other GREAT causes.  Just because I have now decided to adopt Orphans with Down Syndrome doesn't mean others should "care" or "support" me financially or otherwise? I found myself having a fleeting initial response of jealousy when I saw other families fully funded, or receiving huge grants. I immediately corrected myself. How dare I feel that way!!! After all there are so many that have supported me and given so much. Each time I experienced these negative feelings, I would remind myself it is not about me! I would make a small donation to another family, or try and assist in some other way... sharing their blog or offering support/advice. I prayed for forgiveness knowing that it was my own lack of faith that brought on these feelings. Fear. Fear that I would not get to my boys. That I would fail them. Who would I blame?

I realize that this to shall pass. It is part of the journey God is taking me on. He is cleansing me. I am struggling with God, the enemy, my human nature. I am impatient, flawed. I could run away from all of this. I could return to my selfish way of life. Living only for myself. But that is not an option. I simply cannot. So I will grow instead. I will grow in my relationship with God, in faith, in hope and forgiveness. I will continue to correct myself when doubt, jealousy, resentment creep in. I will fast, and pray and continue to have faith. I want to emerge on the other side cleansed, reborn. I have decided to support the whales! and breast cancer awareness! and Recycle! and any other cause my Savior deems worthy! I realized that these causes are important to others and they are important to HIM. Then they are important to ME! Because if I frown upon their choice of passion and God's calling in their life, then I am not living the gospel. I am to love without expecting. God has a plan. We are ALL a part of that plan. and as we all know in order for any plan to work everyone must do their part. Alone we are helpless. Together we are strong. Christ wants us to work together. There is plenty to be done in this world .... pollution, unemployment, animal abuse, orphans, abortion...... the list goes on! But, we cannot criticize one another for the "good" we decide to do. So I have learned my lesson. I will pray for those that sit idle to hear their calling, follow their heart and make a difference. I pray they will be a light for someone or for something, in this dark world!

We Pray...

We received Marty's passport Friday so I added his number to our paperwork and printed it out for our dossier. We are waiting for USCIS to get back to us on our Federal Fingerprinting appointments. Once we receive that and our approval letter we can compile everything together, have it notarized and apostilled and sent off to Ukraine. Then more waiting.... fundraising....worrying...waiting...
 Baby Gage turned 3 months old. He is such a cutie! He is learning how to use his hands and I love watching him stare at them and attempt to grab the toys hanging from his floor mat. I'm sure he will be skilled at building things and fixing things like his Daddy and big brother Austin. I imagine him with Dunham and Edgar, the three of them in their super hero jammies wrestling in the living room, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and making a mess in their playroom. Those thoughts are blessings to cut through the dark cloud of uncertainty brewing in Ukraine.
 I am so proud of the Ukraine people, I pray they will be able to establish the type of Democratic freedom we take for granted every day. I am frightened for them and the fight that lies ahead. I am terrified for our boys and the other lost children of Ukraine. Will there be a freeze on adoption? Will we be one of those families grieving the loss of children we are already so emotionally invested in? It is these thoughts that shake my faith and draw me to God. I pray. What else can I do? I pray for strength, understanding, peace, safety, guidance, blessings, funding, patience, and the freedom of the Ukraine people.

The Ripple Effect

Today we went to the local Farmer's Market to raise awareness for Reece's Rainbow and The Ripple Effect.  "The Ripple Effect" is our local support group for adoptive families. A local reporter came out to do a story on our adoption and several of the other families came out to tell their stories and show their support. I love these families! They have meant so much to us. They have been our support, encouragement, and a major resource of information on this journey. Many of them are fundraising for their own adoptions. I wanted to add links to each of their blogs so that you could follow their stories as well!


Other Family Blogs:

Journey of The Heart 5


Bringing Home Family


Not The End 4 U


3bolins


Facebook Mary adopting China


Monday Morning Christians

Bringing Home Edgar?

Yes! Edgar! Our Home Study approved us for two. God has approved us for two! What did we do to earn such favor with our heavenly father? How can we possibly be the ones chosen to raise these two incredible little boys? I have no idea! but I am not about to mess it up! We are madly in love with these boys, this process, and the new life God has prepared for all of us. I have lived too many years dissatisfied with life. Like a fish out of water I was uncomfortable, unhappy, near death. I saw the water but chose to stay in the grass instead. The grass is full of others floundering around, gasping for air, dissatisfied. The grass was beautiful, the sky blue, the breeze lovely. I was miserable. The realization? I cannot pretend to be happy. I cannot be all that God created me to be outside of the water. As we take the plunge and navigate the twists and turns of our journey. We realize there is no control, but there is some predictability. We are expecting His Grace and Blessings.
                    Please pray for Dunham and Edgar's safe keeping!

Envelope Fundraiser for Dunham!

                                                                

                               click here ------>  Envelope Fundraiser

 

Check out our virtual Envelope Fundraiser for Dunham! Affordable donations from $1 to $100!!!

 

Choose your favorite envelope, "OWN IT" and donate the amount identical to the number of the envelope. Examples - #3 = $3  #12 = $12, #37=$37 etc! It's easy and FUN! There are many to choose from but they are one of a kind! Pick Quick before someone gets your favorite!