We have been home three weeks. It was a bit chaotic at first. Trying to catch up on sleep and file with the Ukraine Embassy and all the other responsibilities... We have kept them on somewhat of a schedule and it has begun to stick. The two U boys are in their room and sleep through the night. Although Edgar is sleeping in the playpen since he refuses to stay in his toddler bed and I refuse to put him in a crib. Baby Gage does not sleep through the night yet and is still in our room. Wake up is about 7:30am, Breakfast is around 8am. Then all three boys play in the playroom and I play their Signing Times Videos, until 9:30, then the two babies take a nap while Edgar eats his snack and plays. The babies are up around 11:00 and play until lunch 12:00. After Lunch around 1:30 Edgar takes his nap while the babies play. Edgar is up around 2:30 and the babies lay down for their 3:00 nap. This works well in that I have less little's all at once. At 4:30 all the boys eat their dinner and then play while we eat ours. Somewhere in there they get baths! Sometimes their play time will involve swimming or the swing, store, etc. My favorite time is before bedtime. Daddy and I snuggle with all three boys and listen to gentle music while we give the babies their bedtime bottles. It is so quiet and peaceful. The babies are so relaxed and Edgar takes turns snuggling up to us and yawning. They are so comfortable.
The Boys.....Edgar is such a ham! He is so sweet and is learning he does not have to hit and bite to protect himself or communicate. He understands no, sit, stand, sleep, eat, drink, bye-bye, Mama, and Dada. He says "Mama". He mimics everything we do! He throws his own diapers away and the babies diapers. Just say "Edgar, garbage." and he takes care of it! He is curious about everything and loves to clean! He picks up his playroom and walks around "sweeping". He feeds his stuffed monkey with an empty bowl and spoon. He puts monkey in the desk (like a high chair). He loves all the stuffed animals and kisses, hugs and interacts with them. It is so stinking sweet! His glasses come this week! So excited for him to be able to see! The Dr said he will see the world completely differently and shouldn't mind keeping his glasses on since he is so curious and smart already.... he will love seeing the world! He wears his sunglasses now and doesn't seem to mind them. He doesn't really mind glasses and hats. Dunham and Gage.... not so much!
Dunham, is just amazing! Everyone just loves him! He has this hysterical face we call "fight face" he makes it whenever he is mad. He frowns and his eyes get huge!! He looks very scary! ;) He yells "Ba!" and that is a warning right before "fight face"!! Be afraid! Be very afraid! He greets us with a giant grin every time he wakes up or you pick him up or ......whenever! His favorite toy is the dogs bowls :/ He loves swimming with Big Sissy. (I think he is her favorite) She takes him everywhere! Target, The Mall, anywhere and everywhere! She secretly wants him for herself! He is very strong and can pull himself up on anything and does pull ups when you hold his hands! He is now eating a little bit of solids..... not much but way better than he was. He is really starting to bond with us now and is less moody. It is clear that he has settled in. He and Gage are best buds and Baby Gage doesn't seem to mind all the action! He loves watching his brothers and tries to mimic them. He and Dunham like to play tug-a-war with toys. Gage screaming and Dunham yelling "Ba!" and making "fight face". It seems natural and no one is getting hurt so I watch them instead of intervening. (truth is.. it is so adorable and entertaining)
We use about a dozen signs with them and they are slowly beginning to pick up. Some of the signs are a bit useless.... Gage signs "bird". I would prefer something more meaningful! But I'll take what I can get! I have to say.... I don't know if it is a mix of our past parenting experience, our amazing boys, our incredibly helpful 20 year old daughter, or a blessing from God, but it has been a peaceful transition. It hasn't been uneventful.... Edgar had a bout of diarrhea and made a mess in the playroom. He did try and clean it up with his broom. Thoughtful but not effective. :/ Hubby and I tagged teamed it. I took poop monster to the shower and he grabbed his heavy duty cleaning products. Unfortunately Edgars broom didn't survive the attack and had to be thrown out! Edgar and Dunham had some biting habits from the orphanage and there were some pretty tense screaming sessions from the recipients. Both boys are getting used to the unlimited food supply. They would scream at the top of their lungs, slam their heads and bang on their trays. I have finally gotten them to relax a bit.
Adoption is not a fairy tale. It is hard. Long nights. No personal time. Constant demands. The cleaning never ends! The laundry laughable! I don't know if I would recommend it to just anyone. It is definitely for those with patience. I guess we are getting old and just take it in stride. It is however the most rewarding thing I have ever done! and.... it has only just begun! I am so thankful that God chose me and Marty to raise these three beautiful boys. Then again maybe it is a fairy tale? I pinch myself every day!
Monday, June 30, 2014
Monday, June 2, 2014
Gotcha!
Sorry for the long delay.... Our third and final trip started out a mess, Extra flights, lost luggage, long lines in immigration..... On and on. Once we arrived in Odessa the stressful paper chase, court mistakes and general Ukraine ridiculousness kicked in. The first visit with the boys on Monday, Edgar looked worse than ever. He was pale and covered in bruises, bites and a rash. I approached the swing where he is always sitting when the nannies take him out. They plop him in that swing and ignore him in order to keep him restrained. He was looking the opposite direction and I leaned over and quietly said "Vova, Mamas here". He froze as if waiting to hear my voice again. I could see his little mind thinking "did I just hear mama?" I said His name once more and he whipped around reaching and trying desperately to get out of the swing. I scooped him out and he hugged me for the longest time. Quietly murmuring "mama". Later during the visit he attempted to walk into a overgrown area and I scooped him up. He protested saying "mama, mom, ma, mama" in typical whiny three year old style. Something about this whine made my heart leap for joy. THIS is MY son! And he knows it! A new heightened sense of desperation and fear washed over me as we worked to straighten out the mistakes with the court decree and expedite Gotcha Day!
Thursday morning the corrected court decree was ready and we raced to pick it up and get both boys birth certificates and other Ukrainian requirements filled. As the day drew to an end my facilitator said " we will pick up the boys tomorrow." Well that my friends was the moment I broke. "No we will NOT. These are MY children and I have the court decree and birth certificates to prove it. MY children will not spend one more night in an orphanage. Call them now. I am coming tonight. Period." I had all legal right to remove my children and I was NOT going to willingly let them spend one single night away from their mama. Two hours later the three of us entered that orphanage and took my boys! I was not feeling anything other then pure determination. Funny, I thought I would cry or feel elation of some sort. Nope just raw mama determination. I would have to say my walk out the gate was more of a mafia gorilla march! We returned the next morning to say goodbye and hand over the boys bank account money. I certainly could have used their government funds as we are still short for our tickets home or even to set aside as the boys have future needs. However I needed the orphanage to give me the boys medical information for the US Embassy and other personal items from their files. They can and will be difficult if they want to be. The orphanages expect that money to be donated and the reality was my boys were at a decent orphanage and I was confident the money would be used for the children. The director thanked us endlessly and our translator repeated her lengthy blessings, wishes for happiness, etc. when it was my turn to speak I simply said "Spasiba". (Thank you). I did not have any more energy for Ukrainian hypocrisy.
The boys have adjusted incredibly well over the past four days! Unbelievably fast! I had prepared myself for the absolute worst. None of my fears have come true. They are wonderfully wonderful! :). Learning about their preferences and personalities has been so much fun. Dunham is attached to Genesis like glue! She is always holding him since I am juggling "wild monkey boy"! Dunham is so gentle, quiet and easy going. We still haven't broken the news to Dunham that I am the mama not Genesis. The House family may be getting an eighth child! ;). Edgar is a wild three year old and thinks being out of the orphanage is "the bees knees"! He has some strange sleeping habits....preferring to climb under the bed and sleep on the hard floor? I tried to put him back on the bed but he insists and falls fast asleep. He will take short naps or fall asleep on the bed but somehow winds up back on the floor! I figure his new freedom is about choices. Something he never had in the orphanage so if you like the floor... Why not? :) Genesis and I marvel at how quickly the boys have begun to heal physically. Edgar's bruises are healing and their rashes are nearly gone. They both eat constantly and the good nutrition has already improved their tone. They are becoming curious about each other and expressing all types of interest....love, curiosity, gentleness, not so gentleness! They are already bonding and behaving like brothers and I am incredibly blessed to be an observer.
Then there is Genesis. What an incredible young lady. She has been an absolute joy! She is patient, calm, helpful. She is a great listener and has been a calming "English speaking" presence. She
understood my demand to get the boys immediately and listened quietly when I complained. Never voicing her own aches pains or disappointments. She sat with the boys for hours in the car while I signed papers and juggled bureaucratic Ukraine craziness. Once while she was in the hot car with both boys and a non English driver, Edgar decided to have explosive diarrhea. The driver must have been tired of the smell because he called my facilitator and she sent me to the car. Genesis did not stress in the least and helped me restrain "poopy pants" and change his clothes while she simultaneously held Dunham! She handles everything with a calm grace and laughs at my lame jokes. She cooks breakfast, makes coffee, feeds the boys and takes amazing pictures! She likes to explore and her curiosity and love for Ukraine pulls me out of my "mission" to take walks, sight see, and simply appreciate the small things. If you are traveling to adopt you MUST bring a "Genesis"! :)
Edgar is stirring from his nap..... Let the madness begin! ;)
Thursday morning the corrected court decree was ready and we raced to pick it up and get both boys birth certificates and other Ukrainian requirements filled. As the day drew to an end my facilitator said " we will pick up the boys tomorrow." Well that my friends was the moment I broke. "No we will NOT. These are MY children and I have the court decree and birth certificates to prove it. MY children will not spend one more night in an orphanage. Call them now. I am coming tonight. Period." I had all legal right to remove my children and I was NOT going to willingly let them spend one single night away from their mama. Two hours later the three of us entered that orphanage and took my boys! I was not feeling anything other then pure determination. Funny, I thought I would cry or feel elation of some sort. Nope just raw mama determination. I would have to say my walk out the gate was more of a mafia gorilla march! We returned the next morning to say goodbye and hand over the boys bank account money. I certainly could have used their government funds as we are still short for our tickets home or even to set aside as the boys have future needs. However I needed the orphanage to give me the boys medical information for the US Embassy and other personal items from their files. They can and will be difficult if they want to be. The orphanages expect that money to be donated and the reality was my boys were at a decent orphanage and I was confident the money would be used for the children. The director thanked us endlessly and our translator repeated her lengthy blessings, wishes for happiness, etc. when it was my turn to speak I simply said "Spasiba". (Thank you). I did not have any more energy for Ukrainian hypocrisy.
The boys have adjusted incredibly well over the past four days! Unbelievably fast! I had prepared myself for the absolute worst. None of my fears have come true. They are wonderfully wonderful! :). Learning about their preferences and personalities has been so much fun. Dunham is attached to Genesis like glue! She is always holding him since I am juggling "wild monkey boy"! Dunham is so gentle, quiet and easy going. We still haven't broken the news to Dunham that I am the mama not Genesis. The House family may be getting an eighth child! ;). Edgar is a wild three year old and thinks being out of the orphanage is "the bees knees"! He has some strange sleeping habits....preferring to climb under the bed and sleep on the hard floor? I tried to put him back on the bed but he insists and falls fast asleep. He will take short naps or fall asleep on the bed but somehow winds up back on the floor! I figure his new freedom is about choices. Something he never had in the orphanage so if you like the floor... Why not? :) Genesis and I marvel at how quickly the boys have begun to heal physically. Edgar's bruises are healing and their rashes are nearly gone. They both eat constantly and the good nutrition has already improved their tone. They are becoming curious about each other and expressing all types of interest....love, curiosity, gentleness, not so gentleness! They are already bonding and behaving like brothers and I am incredibly blessed to be an observer.
Then there is Genesis. What an incredible young lady. She has been an absolute joy! She is patient, calm, helpful. She is a great listener and has been a calming "English speaking" presence. She
understood my demand to get the boys immediately and listened quietly when I complained. Never voicing her own aches pains or disappointments. She sat with the boys for hours in the car while I signed papers and juggled bureaucratic Ukraine craziness. Once while she was in the hot car with both boys and a non English driver, Edgar decided to have explosive diarrhea. The driver must have been tired of the smell because he called my facilitator and she sent me to the car. Genesis did not stress in the least and helped me restrain "poopy pants" and change his clothes while she simultaneously held Dunham! She handles everything with a calm grace and laughs at my lame jokes. She cooks breakfast, makes coffee, feeds the boys and takes amazing pictures! She likes to explore and her curiosity and love for Ukraine pulls me out of my "mission" to take walks, sight see, and simply appreciate the small things. If you are traveling to adopt you MUST bring a "Genesis"! :)
Edgar is stirring from his nap..... Let the madness begin! ;)
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