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Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Day 31 Our beloved son...

Today "Bogdan Martin Quinn" became our son! Born in Luhansk to a single mother, Bogdan was abandoned shortly after birth. His mother had another child, an older brother he never got to know. We are so honored God chose us to raise Bogdan and he will have plenty of brothers! We are excited and blessed to introduce our son........

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Cosmo vs Walking Dead (day 25)

Remember that day I went to the Dr for my eczema? The same day I found out about Willow? Well something else happened that day. My physician. A woman. Whom I have known for 10+ years, said something to me that day....
In a past life. Before Adoption. I was a Marketing Rep. Most of my day was filled with socializing with physicians, nurses, and office staff, and trips to Starbucks. I wore dresses and suits and was  thin, tan, always dolled up with nails, hair, make up. From the outside I am sure I looked like the happiest woman in the world. I was always joking and laughing. I was good at my job and enjoyed the people I marketed to. But I wasn't happy. I felt like I was wasting every day. It was empty work. Meant only to bring home money. This is what the world told me would make me happy. So why wasn't I happy!? My husband would say to me on occasion "You are never going to be happy." I started to think he was right. Until...
We gave our lives over to God. We committed to seek His plan for our lives. Eighteen months ago we had Baby Gage. Ten months ago we adopted Edgar and Dunham. Right this moment we are adopting Lettie and Ernie. Five children in 18 mo. Two exhausting adoption processes. So there I sat, with swollen eyes, wearing my husbands T-Shirt, no make up, still carrying baby weight from Gage. The Dr walked in. She sat down and said "Jennifer, why are you doing this to yourself?" I knew the mess she was seeing. The once successful, beautiful woman now looked more like a meth head! I smiled. I couldn't help but feel proud of the mess I was. It was like a badge of honor. There was a time I would fret over a bad hair day or a pimple on my chin. I was in the trenches! I was doing Gods work! I was HAPPY! Truly happy. I knew there was no way I would convince her I was. So instead I said "I realize I look a mess. I am doing hard work for the Lord right now. I will pull myself together, don't worry. But for now just know that I am happy." Sympathetically she smiled back.
Some of you know that look. As you tote your herd of children through the Walmart. I know we look disheveled. I know that according to the world we should be miserable, on diet pills, and reading Fifty Shades of Grey. But we are not. We are happy! We wouldn't have it any other way.  So instead of commenting "You have your hands full!" or "Better you then me" or a sympathetic smile. Know that we are happy! Our hearts are full! We know there is another life. One without children screaming. We chose this life. Not because we are punishing ourselves or have some misguided delusion. Because, it is God's work. It is the best kind of work. Because it makes us happy, when shoes, purses, and other possessions did not. Sure there are days we wish we could look beautiful again. But that "beautiful" just has a new definition. A shower and shaved legs is good enough for this mama! So old friend don't be confused when we run into each other at the Target and you look like a page off of Cosmo and I look like the Walking Dead...... and I give YOU a sympathetic smile. ;)






Thursday, February 19, 2015

Day 12 Rest

A huge weight was lifted yesterday. We are fully funded! AND saw pics of Lettie! I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful she is! She is just perfect! Daddy is smitten. ;) We are getting closer and closer to gotcha day!



Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Day 11?

Where did the past four days go? lol! Did I fall asleep and not wake up?
Today Marty meets our sweet Little Lettie! She has Down Syndrome and a Heart Condition. Her one little picture has captured my heart! I cannot wait to hear ALL about her! Gage decided to wake me up at 4am for a party he was having with Lilly (the dog). So it will be a lonnnng day! But I will choose to be happy and grateful and celebrate every poopy diaper! ;)

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Day 7 - Falling in LOVE!

The pictures the videos! Be still my heart! My son is amazing! He is joyful and sweet! He gives Daddy kisses and tickles his beard. I never could have imagined he would be so wonderful! He is the best Valentine's Gift EVER! After ALL that he has been through? I grumble when my coffee is cold and this tiny orphan that has suffered all of his four short years laughs with more joy than I could ever imagine?? It is ONLY by the grace of GOD! Today was a good day! and I cannot imagine ever having a bad day with his laughter in my home. Thank you Jesus for the blessing of our wonderful son <3

Friday, February 13, 2015

Day 6 - Saying Goobye and Hello

I was sitting in the Dr's office waiting for the physician to prescribe cream for the eczema on my hands. I had been up much of the night itching my poor fingers. The boys were with Big Sissy at Home. Anxiously checking my phone every 5 seconds waiting for info on Ernie. Praying I had the emotional fortitude to receive the gift of him while awaiting Saturdays decision. Marty messaged me. "I will call you." He started the conversation telling me there would be no committee, no decision, it was finished. Willow was gone. The officials had signed off on the Ukrainian Foster Family. My throat closed. I tried to fight back the tears fearful the Dr. would walk in and I would be making a scene. He paused to hear my reaction but I couldn't speak. He continued to tell me how the team had done everything they could...... I couldn't take anymore. "Tell me about Ernie! Tell me something good!" and he did. He told me wonderful things about my son. How he talked and was funny. How he asked Daddy to help him walk and the nanny translated. How he talks like Dunham, smiles like Gage and is a show-off like Edgar. He told me how wonderful and gorgeous he was. He filled that gaping hole with all of Ernie's goodness. When he finished my tears had turned to tears of joy. He told our son he was "Papa". and Ernie understood. God stalled that Dr until I had collected myself. So here I sit. Several hours later, asking myself how I feel? I feel ok. God has laid a peace on my heart that he carries Willow. That he wants more for her then I ever could. He holds her in the palm of his hand....He loves her. I pray she will be loved, happy, cared for. I am grateful God gave me closure today, so I could embrace the news of my son without reserve.

Marty and I have decided we WILL rescue another child. We very much would like a little girl. We don't have a clue who the Lord has planned but he led us to this place, this region. He knew our hearts and through Willow he brought us to Ernie. He has a plan better than ours. A plan for good. A plan for His Glory! So we will be willing. We will say Yes! So come along friends, it isn't over yet! (:



Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Day 4 - "Eve of Losing..."

The celebration of a successful DAP Appointment was short lived when we found out the local region was still giving priority to a Ukrainian Family willing to foster Willow. Tomorrow, we find out for certain whether the family is willing to release their commitment. It does not look good. I spoke to two key members of the adoption team and neither sound optimistic. This isn't simply a set-back or delay....THIS is catastrophic. This is the "Eve of Losing Willow". It may seem premature to call it that but regardless of tomorrows outcome, good or bad.....that is for tomorrow. Today will always feel like the day before we lost Willow. Adoption in Ukraine is not for the weak. It is a fast process with a dysfunctional system. But when children are at stake and your family is split up and every day costs emotionally and financially there is no time to pause. So you must make difficult decisions in your hour of grieving. You have back up plans and discussions to be sure you and your spouse are on the "same page". All while trying to grasp the terrifying realization that in 24 hours you will have no choice but to accept the horrible reality that you have lost a child you spent months fighting for and falling in love with. You look at all of the possibilities. You discuss your options and come up with a plan. Then you say goodnight, and pray that tomorrow this nightmare will go away and your sweet baby will be there in your arms.