This realization encouraged me to flick the enemy in the eye and shush his lies that I was "undeserving, wasting time/money, too old, too sick?, bad mom, bad bad bad...... " lies! all lies!
Last Friday I joined a gym. 430am I am on the road, work out for an hour, get home before the family wakes and drink my coffee! I feel alive, renewed, refreshed!
The second realization I had is that no relationship is going to improve without effort. I began inviting Dunham to sit with me and taking time to "listen" to his needs. I recruited an OT to work with him along with ABA, PT and Speech. We celebrated his 5th Birthday and reflected on all of the progress he's made. We gave ourselves and Dunham, Grace. I realized as I fought for my son, that I loved him dearly! and right now he is good. He is happy. I am happy. I wish we could fast forward to the day Dunham stops throwing, hitting, yelling. But right now, in this season.... I am ok. Dunham is ok. and we are going to be just fine. <3