Day 6 - Saying Goobye and Hello

I was sitting in the Dr's office waiting for the physician to prescribe cream for the eczema on my hands. I had been up much of the night itching my poor fingers. The boys were with Big Sissy at Home. Anxiously checking my phone every 5 seconds waiting for info on Ernie. Praying I had the emotional fortitude to receive the gift of him while awaiting Saturdays decision. Marty messaged me. "I will call you." He started the conversation telling me there would be no committee, no decision, it was finished. Willow was gone. The officials had signed off on the Ukrainian Foster Family. My throat closed. I tried to fight back the tears fearful the Dr. would walk in and I would be making a scene. He paused to hear my reaction but I couldn't speak. He continued to tell me how the team had done everything they could...... I couldn't take anymore. "Tell me about Ernie! Tell me something good!" and he did. He told me wonderful things about my son. How he talked and was funny. How he asked Daddy to help him walk and the nanny translated. How he talks like Dunham, smiles like Gage and is a show-off like Edgar. He told me how wonderful and gorgeous he was. He filled that gaping hole with all of Ernie's goodness. When he finished my tears had turned to tears of joy. He told our son he was "Papa". and Ernie understood. God stalled that Dr until I had collected myself. So here I sit. Several hours later, asking myself how I feel? I feel ok. God has laid a peace on my heart that he carries Willow. That he wants more for her then I ever could. He holds her in the palm of his hand....He loves her. I pray she will be loved, happy, cared for. I am grateful God gave me closure today, so I could embrace the news of my son without reserve.

Marty and I have decided we WILL rescue another child. We very much would like a little girl. We don't have a clue who the Lord has planned but he led us to this place, this region. He knew our hearts and through Willow he brought us to Ernie. He has a plan better than ours. A plan for good. A plan for His Glory! So we will be willing. We will say Yes! So come along friends, it isn't over yet! (: