This Monday I will be returning to work. Oh how I will miss my Gage man! I know I am leaving him in loving hands..... but I understand him so well. I know his grunts, from his cries, from his whimper and whines! I know what each one means and just how to comfort him.
I also know that his brother is waiting for us in Ukraine. I know that the money I make will be crucial in bringing him home. I know that as much as I will miss seeing every new accomplishment, I will have a lifetime of knowing I gave him the greatest gift of all! A brother, a best friend, the understanding, compassion, and love he will have for those less fortunate then himself. My other children are 19 and 15 and grew up with the typical spoiled American Christmas. When we broke the news there would be no gifts this Christmas I anticipated some objection. Much to my surprise the children I thought might be spoiled beyond repair, were happy to sacrifice. I realized I did not have enough faith in them, in my parenting, in American teenagers! Somehow in my years of being caught up in Black Friday, I had instilled enough selflessness in my children that they understood the magnitude of the gift they were giving to this child and the gift they were about to receive. I am proud of them, and myself, somehow even when I was lost, I had managed to teach them to put others before themselves. As I walk around my modest home, I cannot help but notice the meaningless purchases I have made over the years. That candle could have been $5 toward Dunham, that flat screen $500, those cute dog outfits, 5 pairs of sunglasses, did I really need 25 pairs of shoes!?!? I walk into Target and see the excess of goods.......... I want to cry, scream at the people around me "Don't you see! Don't you know there are children dieing!" I watch as the man in front of me at the gas station purchases 5 packs of cigarettes..... another wasted $25. *sigh. Do the mom's in the adoption group feel this shame, anger, frustration? They are all so soft spoken, kind, women of God. I want to be like them.... soft, feminine, unending faith. God, how am I to be gentle, how will I learn to turn the other cheek? Now that I SEE I want others to SEE! I want them to know that the self fulfillment you get from loving God and others isn't some crazy thing "Jesus Freaks" made up! I want them to know that the "something more" they are seeking can NEVER be filled with material things, alcohol, or vanity! Then I realized.... just as I could not be reached when I was walking in darkness neither can they. It is up to them to be strong enough to step into the light. Some were blessed enough to be born into the light, families that raised them up in loving Godly homes. But for those of us that weren't..... it is up to us to take that leap of faith to the other side. To take the chance for something "different". and when they do it is up to us to greet them with love, encouragement and praise!
One Less Orphan - Dunham
I totally understand. I have waged war in our house again unnecessary consuming. But I can't control everyone else! sigh. I am so excited you are adopting Dunham!
ReplyDeleteI had posted a little while back, asking people how much they spent, on average, per child, for Christmas. I was amazed at the range of answers. It helped me make the decision to change the way we have been doing things, and focus more on what the holiday is truly about. I have a 13 and 16 year old from my first marriage, who I have spoiled tremendously through the years. (Admittedly, in competition with their dad.) I also now have a four-year-old, and I want things to be different with him. I decided to slim down on Christmas this year. But I will say, I was starting to freak out when some unexpected expenses have fallen into our lap lately, worrying how I would pay for Christmas gifts. This post woke me up. Thank you so much for dragging me back to the way I need to think about things. God is trying to teach me this lesson, but this stubborn and hard-headed girl needs constant reminders! Cannot wait until you get your little guy home!!!!
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