Everyone feels sad or bad when they see injured, starving, disabled, elderly, homeless or the orphaned. Who doesn’t see the picture of an injured kitten and say “Awwww, that’s so sad!” Whether it is an animal or human we all feel compassion. (Well most of us anyway) So what stops us from giving our time, money, home? I believe it is a number of reasons. Sometimes we have the best of intentions and just don’t get around to it. Sometimes we give but just the littlest bit to make our conscience feel better. Sometimes we are so pessimistic and suspicious from negative news reports and our own experience with moochers that we dismiss these individuals. And here it is the hardest one of all! We are selfish. We use the earlier mentioned excuses to defend our selfishness! We want to eat out, buy the latest fall boots, and hey I NEED new work clothes! After all we work HARD for our money! Why should we give it away?
“Why adopt from _____ why don’t you adopt from the United States?” This is one adoptive families hear all the time. There is no one answer, every family has their own reason. For me personally, I do not see the difference between nations. Children are children. I believe God has called me to this child. It would be easier to adopt domestically and virtually cost free, but that is not what I feel God has asked of me. I have never done anything “easy” and the difficulty of this process is the hardest thing I have EVER done, it forces me to trust in God! I cannot do this alone. I NEED him. I have always struggled with my faith, trusting God completely. This process is forcing me to do so and allowing me to grow in my own personal faith and relationship with God. For me adopting domestically would have been too easy?
“If they want to adopt, they should pay for it themselves!?” This one is not often said directly to the adoptees face, it is usually relayed third party. Let me ask you this, if you added just 1 child to your home what would be the financial impact?
The cost to adopt a special needs child is excessive. Depending on the country, adoption can cost anywhere from 15k-40k. The initial cost of the home study, paperwork, passports, fingerprinting, adoption agency fees, etc are paid up front by the adoptive families. Approximately $5k. The additional $15-20k are raised through fundraising and the adoptive family. Fundraising is NOT easy! It isn’t a matter of sitting back and waiting for the dollars to pour in! It takes effort! A lot of hard work! My husband and I are exhausted! We have found our most generous friends and family are those that have the least. This makes every penny of our son’s ransom that much more valuable to us. My friend circle is being filled with the most incredible, giving, kind, compassionate individuals we have ever known. Strangers have given freely and without regret. Some of those closest to us have remained distant and pessimistic. Those that support us are a part of our hearts and every one of them will be known to our son Dunham and our other children for years to come. We are eternally grateful! It has become so much more than just rescuing this child. It has renewed my faith in people! I pray that those that remain hardened will open their hearts, if not in time for Dunham then in the near future. Every orphan is a part of Dunham’s “family”, we will be paying it forward for the rest of our lives.
Once your child is home the REAL work begins. Everyone will agree raising a special needs child is not easy! It is hard work, and takes personal sacrifice. This child is a blessing to us, but we are not naïve in believing every day will be peaches and cream! There will be lots of long nights, tears, frustration…. But there will be love and laughter to give us the strength to get through the more difficult times. Another comment that comes up is “Adoption isn’t for everyone.” I disagree! It is! The timing needs to be considered, but adoption IS for everyone! It is incredibly fulfilling! I cannot express how much this process has filled my spirit with love, joy, and hope! I cannot think of one friend or family member that could not provide the love, stability, and family an orphan needs! That means YOU! Should you ever decide to take that leap of faith that so few are willing to do. I promise you this; Your value system will be challenged. You will never in your life view the world the same again. You will be humbled beyond your limits. You will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams. Your priorities and motives will be shifted violently and you will find God waiting for you with open arms to welcome you on the other side, and he will say “Well done.”
Wow reading this is very true! As I tell people about your journey ahead to try to raise money for Dunham, I have heard why don't they adopt from the U.S., why are they doing a fundraiser, if they can't afford it all on their own then they shouldn't adopt. I look at these people bewildered! I can not even figure out their thought process! Never once have I thought that way. Those thoughts never crossed my mind. The only thought that has crossed my mind is "Jen and Marty are crazy!"(in a good way of course lol) But that is how you guys are crazy! But along with your craziness you are both incredible loving caring people! And to share that with children, is absolutely amazing and extremely unselfish! Dunham should not be with anyone else but your family! God bless and good luck on your journey!
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